Thank you for such an eloquent statement that was obviously difficult for you to make. That took courage.
The thing is, your criticisms of theology for governing the governance of society apply equally to ideology. Ideology was invented to replace theology for that purpose, but since it is based on secular beliefs as surely as any theology is based on religious beliefs, it is every bit as inadequate for achieving a just society as theology is. Rationality is the only possible source of justice — real justice.
I hope you will read my brief (“5 min read”) summary of real justice here in Medium. What I said above about ideology is expanded in “Good Riddance Ideology.” The whole kit and caboodle is in “People for Tolerance, Unite!”